Don't Be a Fatass,

Recently, headlines have spilled out that have sparked some controversy. The focus is centered around the problem of obesity. Considering 40% of people in the United States are morbidly obese, you are probably one of them. And you better stop eating and start running, now.













The Golden Rule: If it looks good, don't eat it.

According to research and some common sense, and to put it bluntly, fat people are destroying the planet. Food production is a major contributor to global warming. If you shut your mouth once in a while and stopped stuffing it with unhealthy junk, the polar bears (along with the rest of us) would definitely appreciate it. Studies have also proven that since fat people breathe more heavily, they generate more carbon dioxide. When the amount of CO2 generated by fat people is greater than the amount of CO2 inhaled by trees, the rest of the world has to deal with the leftover shit. Think about it - fat people actually overproduce green house gases. This calls for a "wtf" moment. Wtf?

The moral of the story is:

Don't be a fatass.

So unless your obesity is actually a result of a hypothalamus defect, please, just stop eating so much. Think of the children and the future generations of people who could be living in a dire world of pollutants that are a result of fat people emissions. Please consider their health.

Thank you.